Conclusion; Timescales
All of the dramatic changes in your life and in the lives of your spouse and your children, which arise out of your separation, do not happen all at once. You must think in terms of a period of time lasting between 12 months and 2 years, during which all of these issues will sort themselves out one way or the other. The delay is not caused by the law, or the Courts, or the lawyers; as more and more people become involved in your separation then communication takes longer. The whole exercise develops a dynamic of it's own as it moves forward.
During that period of time a great deal of adjustment has to be made by you, your spouse, and your children, and you need the time to make those adjustments.
I divide my timescale into three periods of time: -
The Short Term
During the period of two months immediately following the point at which you separate, my main concern for you is to make sure that you and your children have a roof over your heads, that you have enough money to live on, on a day-on-day basis, that the absent parent has contact with the children, and that you and your children are safe.
The Transition
This period lasts from two months after the separation until about 12 to 15 months after the separation. During this period of time the week-on-week and month-on-month financial issues start to resolve themselves, the question of occupation of a home becomes clearer, issues of maintenance sort themselves out and everyone adjusts to arrangements for contact and residence. It takes about a year for the needs and aspirations of both of you and your children to become apparent. It takes this period of time for the dust to start to settle.
The Long Term
Beyond the period of 15 months, I hope that long term financial commitments like houses, mortgages, large debts, pensions and insurance policies are fully resolved and that you have defined and settled into your role as separate parents of your children.
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